Sign Church sign: "Without the bread of the Lord, your toast".



...


I really, really want to knock on the church's door tomorrow and be like "Ummm..do you know your sign is grammatically incorrect? On both sides? Yeah? Okay, just checking".


Ugh.

So our church was voting on the committee today to find new pastor because the usual guy got "called" to go to FL (because he has a red God phone in his house, I guess). Our church, being "reformed" Presbyterian, doesn't allow women in any seat of power outside of the "women's group" (which consists of taking care of the nursery, making food, doing Sunday School, etc), which I find absolutely ridiculous and rather insulting, and the ballot for the committee only has four or five women on it. So, because I didn't feel like getting all mad about it today (because all this emphasis on finding the right "man" for the job makes my blood pressure rise and I couldn't vote anyhow as I'm not a member), I decided to skip out on church. Evan had to go because he's running the skit for VBS this year and, after the voting meeting thing is the meeting for those involved in Leadership for VBS.

So, anyhow, I just got a text from him that states the following: "We voted for the pulpit search committee. I voted for all women where I could."

I love him so much.

Even though that will prolly change nothing because he women on the ballot were some of the most subservient women in the church, but still. Maybe if there are more women on the committee they'll find a pastor who won't do sermons about how equality within stereotypical gender roles is a disservice to God and neither sex can truly be satisfied or happy unless they conform to such a rigid social structure.

So dinner last night went surprisingly well. The pastor's wife had never tried sushi before, so it's always fun to talk people into trying new things. The conversation only reached awkward levels twice--once when they asked how we met, and once when asking if we were planning on staying with the church and about my contact information. The how we met thing is always an awkard situation because neither of us really know how to answer it. There is no tactful way to say "He was my dead fiance's best friend", really. We usually go for the "We were introduced by a mutual friend" option, but that usually prompts the "Oh, they must have just known that you guys were perfect for each other" reaction which, well, isn't true. Maybe in the grand cosmic scheme of things there is a possibility that Danny knew that he was going to die and knew that Evan and I should be together and introduced us to subconciously put that plan into effect...but I doubt it.

The "I used to date one of his friends" doesn't really work, either, as it kind of makes me sound like a friendship wrecking whore and makes him sound like someone who doesn't abide by the Friends Rule. But then, I'm sure there are people who would think poorly of me because of the situation, anyhow (in fact, I know there are--they've told me), so it really doesn't matter either way.

Thankfully, they knew a bit of the situation thanks to the grape vine, so it was only mildly awkward, but still, I really hate that damned question.

The other awkward moment revolved around my contact information, being that, because I only sign the "friendship pad" passed around every Sunday with my name and no other information, that's all they have for me. And there is a reason for that, but I wasn't exactly going to say that so bluntly. Evan mentioned that, well, we live together, so they could just use his info for me if it's really that important, which then promted our pastor's face to turn seven different shades of red as he tried to skirt the fine line between "friend" and "pastor" to explain that that wouldn't work due to the view of the church being that our living situation isn't really proper. He stammered around it for a while before I decided to save him by piping up the "Cos we're living in sin" idea, to which everyone laughed but, I mean, to them it's true, so why mince words? To this he said that the view of the church is that we should be married first, etc etc, so using that information really wouldn't work as it might cause some people to talk. Which is funny because...people know already as neither of us feel that it's anything that should be a secret. There was actually a rather amusing situation where someone called Evan to ask how they could get a hold of me and he said "Well, she lives with me, so she's right here, I'll give her the phone". I'm so used to people living together without being married that the idea of it being something so uncommon that it's not just assumed blows my mind.

So then, I might have made a mistake by admitting that I'm not actually Christian, so the whole "living in sin" thing doesn't really apply. JD asked what I was, to which I answered Unitarian and he seemed to accept that answer. I almost wished that I still practiced Paganism, just because I think the reaction would have been hilarious. But then, I'm kind of an asshole.

But all in all it was a pretty good night. We got ice cream after and talked about video games and the pastor's wife looked bored at the conversation and it ended rather well. I did find it interesting that JD directed all of his questions about us staying with the church to Evan, although that is to be expected seeing as how they think that the man should be "spiritual leader" of the family. It's still felt kind of weird to be excluded from the conversation that way. As much as I like the people who go to this church, and as much as I like the small, community atomsphere, I just cannot wrap my brain around their ideas as to how a family structure and decision making should be done. Ah well.

We ended up not going to his mom's but I still didn't get any writing done. I was utterly exhasted by the time we got home thanks to the fact that I haven't had an uninterrupted night's sleep in over a week. I'm wondering if this BC is messing with my brain, causing these damned nightmares. Whatever it is, I really hope that it gets done, soon, because I'm getting rather tired of waking up, gasping, every night. Blah.

So I guess we're going out for dinner, tonight, with the paster at our church and his wife. I honesly have no idea why. JD (the paster man) mentioned it to Evan a few months ago, and I agreed, hardly thinking that it was a serious offer. Turns out that it was, and we're going to be joining them for sushi when I get off of work. My idea as to why the invitaion was offered range anywhere from them wanting to ask Evan if he wants to become a member (he's been going for a few years now, and even has those personalized offering envelopes that they give to memebers, though he isn't one) to them finding out through the grape vine that I'm not Christian and/or that we're "living in sin" and this is all some kind of sneaky missionary thing. I'm pretty sure the latter is just my own neurotic insecurities talking (though the fact I don't take communion has been noticed and questioned by a few members of the congregation--I guess that happens when there's only 30 or so people at the church). Most likely he just wants to get to know everyone in the congregation and I know he does this thing where he prays for people/families individually, dedicating a week or so to each family, so that might have something to do with it.

I'm just worried that the converstation will end up going the direction of religion and I won't be able to keep my opinions quiet. It's been pointed out to me that I am very vocal in my facial expressions and body language--if I don't agree with something, I don't have to say anything to make my opinions known. I'm pretty sure this isn't a good quality--especially around a subject as touchy as religion. I do like everyone at this church, and am even planning on helping out with the vacation bible school this summer, so I'd hate to have my inability to keep my body language (of all things) in check to screw it up.

Ah well. I guess I'll just see how it goes. I'm kind of bummed because I was planning on finishing the story I was working on for prosechallenge tonight, but seeing as how we have this dinner and then I guess we're going to his mom's afterwards, I doubt that's going to happen. Ah well. It is kind of annoying in that I hate having plans switched around without getting to really have a say in it (the going to his mom's thing was just decided--I couldn't very well say no, as it's for a friend of his family's 80th birthday thing and it was nice of them to invite me). I knew I should have done it last night. Damn.

Oh look, lunch break's over. Time to get back to the pile of backwork that is stacked on my desk. I should never take a day off. Seriously. I spend the entire next day doing double the work and nothing really gets accomplished. I fear for the stack of boxes and paperwork that will exist when I get back from vacation. Oh man...thinking about that was a bad idea...