I just found out that one of my LJ friends died.

This is such a strange feeling. I didn't really Know the guy--I mean, we talked in IRC and exchanged witty banter, but he isn't someone I've ever met in real life--I only knew him through the internet. It's so strange to be sad and upset due to the passing of a person who I only knew through a collection of electronic signals.

It's amazing how the internet and things like LJ connect you to people that you would never, ever meet without it.

I really am sad, though, for another LJ friend of mine who was very, very close to him. I'm not sure what exactly the nature of their relationship (though I can hazard a guess), and I know how devastating it is to have someone just blip out of your life like that. She's a very strong woman and I know that she'll be fine overall but, man. Poor girl. I'd offer support but honestly, I'm not sure what to say. I've always been awful at things like that (mostly because anything that can be said is too cliched and patronizing to even utter). But still.

Gah. What a shitty start to a day.

The strangest thing is that one of my first thoughts was that I'm actually kind of glad that I'm going to church this morning. I don't really pray, but for some reason I want to. It's way too early in the morning for this.

So yeah. We'll miss you, Simon (phoinos). If you come back as a zombie, I'll be sure to shoot you in the nicest way possible. :(
(Yes, I realize how bad that sounds, but it was an inside joke...)

Final payment on my car was made on Saturday. I am now in complete ownership of a '98 Chevy Cavalier...with a tape deck...and 132k miles on it...awesome.

But it's better than nothing. Even though I have had to put more money into keeping the damned thing running than I actually did buying it. Ah well. I'll see how well it runs towards the summer and decide if I want to attempt to trade it in. I will admit that I have grown rather fond of the rusty thing.


My uncle is coming in from Germany this weekend. I think I've only met him...four times in my life? If that? I haven't seen him since I was maybe 12 or 13. I guess he's stopping on his way down to some base in Alabama, so he'll only be around for a few days. I'm gonna make an attempt at getting off work early on Saturday so as to join in family festivities at the restaurant (which, you know, is my all time favorite place to be x_X).

Good news, though, is that I think Beth comes home on leave this week. Yay! That is much more exciting. Though how much I'll be able to see her will be another story, seeing as how I have a paper and two tests due this week, as well as having to get started on my term paper, and getting all of the stuff that will be due around Spring Break done (because my professors are evil and decided to have papers due During Spring Break...I didn't even think that could do that. And I'm not about to be doing homework whilst in New Orleans).

So yeah, hopefully there will be time. Bah.

I wish I could just not do anything for a day. I had two days off in a row this weekend and feel like I didn't stop to breathe during either of them. I did allow myself to sleep in on Saturday (till 1030, whoo), and wasted an hour watching the ep of Ugly Betty I missed on Thursday, so I guess that counts as lazy time, but still (which was Evan's argument when I complained about not having any real "day off time" on my days off--that I didn't actually start my day until after lunch. Coming from someone who only has to go into work when he has appointments and therefore gets to hang out and relax most of the day, I was rather annoyed). I don't know why I've been so stressed, as I'm not really doing much more than I have in the past, but there's just this underlying feeling of "Go go go! Move move move!" that's driving me rather bonkers. It doesn't feel quite like my manic stages, but it's still keeping my mind from focusing on one thing at a time and I'm hardly able to sleep at night, my dreams are all either horrible, violent, bloody nightmares or crazy adventure resistance dreams that make me feel like I've just run an marathon when I wake up. Ugh blah yuck.

I need a nap. Maybe no one will notice if I curl up under my desk for a while...

...haha, yeah right.

So I got a call from Jon last night.

Erica is coming to the Pittsburgh show.

Fuck.

For those who don't know, Erica is the girl that Jon dated after me. She and I abhor each other. Notice I didn't use "hate". Hate isn't strong enough of a word. There are very few people in this world who just the mere mention of their name can send me into a blind rage. This girl is one. When they were dating the first time around, she managed to distance him from almost every one of his friends, including all but forbidding him to speak to me, and then broke his heart and I then had to spend the better part of a year putting it back together. I have this really sneaky suspicion that the only reason she's claiming love for him again is because his band is becoming successful, but I have no confirmation on that.

As it is, she is flying up for this show, specifically, out of all of the shows they're playing. Why? Simply because I'm here and she wants to cause trouble. I know this, and, for once, Jon actually knows this as he mentioned that he got into a blowout with her about it. Good for him not being a complete doormat this time around. He and I already had a very limited time together--just the short time before their show and maybe an hour or two after it--and now She's going to be there, and she's going to make it absolutely impossible to talk to him or spend any time alone with him.

The funny thing is that I had almost come to terms with him getting back together with her. I literally was just thinking a few days ago that, if this is going to make him happy, it's not my place to say anything about it, no matter how big of a mistake I think he's making.

Now, however. Now I want to fucking strangle the girl. I feel selfish for feeling this way, but, you know, She's seen him, lately. She's gotten back together with him. I just went through a hellish year and had my fiance kick it on me, and I could really use a hug and a face to face conversation with my best friend. The fact that she is deliberately sabotaging that, I think, shows quite a bit of the limited character that she has.

So now I don't even know if I should bother going. I'm not going to be able to have a conversation with the guy, because she's going to fucking just be...there. Over his shoulder. Like Jaba's little mate going "heeeheeeheeheee". However, I have no idea when I'll get the chance to see him, again, and I've never (unlike her--I am reminded of this) just not gone to one of his shows. Even when he was playing with Robin when I was still so insecure in myself that the mere thought of seeing them play would cause me to have an anxiety attack, I still went. So, by that logic, because I am his friend and I love watching him play, I should go.

But still...

I don't know. I still just can't fathom anyone being that...ugh. Whatever.

Dot's in heat, and therefore, is the most annoying thing on the face of the Earth. I feel a bit bad for SushiDan, as, she's my cat, so waking me up in the middle of the night (constantly) with her "I want to get laaaaiiiiddddddd" meowing is kind of my responsibility to put up with, not his. Ugh. I know I have to get her spayed, but I really just haven't had any time. The first time she went into heat I was knee deep in grief and depression and barely functioning, and now I'm knee deep in 50 hour work weeks and a full course load and homework till 5am, and, you know, barely functioning. There is no risk of her getting knocked up because there is absolutely no way she can get out of the apartment (knock on wood) and, even if she did, I don't think there are any male cats around here, anyhow (again, knock on wood). I just hope she doesn't stay this whiny for long.

Discovered something depressing last night--Evan and I are the only single people left that we knew. What the fuck. I wanted to throw a little Anti-Valentines shindig with other single people, but there either Are no single people, or the "mostly" single people have Vday plans with the person they're "mostly" not single with. Fucking a. The saddest thing about it isn't being single on Valentine's Day--I was gonna end up trying to work it, anyhow, so I could make some extra cash (and keep my mind off Danny), but more so that the fact that I didn't know that people were mostly not single shows how out of touch I am with my friends up here. In reality, all I really see is Evan. JT and Sarah you have to make appointments with to hang out now adays, Drew and I's schedules never match up, Randy and I have spoken once since Labor Day, I've seen both Rob and Zach once since break, and everyone else has moved.

It helps that I'm so freaking busy as of late to notice my lack of social interaction but once I Do notice it, damn, is it depressing.

Jon's coming into town for his gig in two weeks. I just realized how close that is. I'm horribly excited, though still a bit annoyed with him. This thing with him flying in to see Erica (and deciding that his still "in love" with her, which I can only see ending badly...again), and not taking the time to come see me really REALLY hurt. Specially as I really could have used him this past year or so. He has this tendency to be so supportive and so wonderful, and then do something like this to fuck it all up. I'm wondering how much time I'll actually get to talk to him/see him, seeing as how he's coming in from NY and then has to be in Michigan the next day. A wicked, spiteful part of me wants to make some excuse to be busy and just blow it off, but I know that I'll feel awful if I do. I'm glad that he felt the need to be honest with me, but really, our friendship would be much better at this point if he had just kept it to himself.

I have the week from hell coming up. So busy. Ugh.

-Sun: work (which will consist of watching the superbowl, really)
-Mon: Class from 11-230, including an oral presentation for English on my poetry analysis that I will prolly throw up during because I hate giving oral presentations
-Tues: Class from 12-1, which consists of a test, which means every spare moment from now until then will be spent studying for said test as I got a 50% on the practice one (of which there were only five questions, which is just not fair); and class again from 6-9, but I don't have the book for that class, yet, since it started last week, and so I have to go in super early to that campus and get the book, so as to do to reading that's due that day (cos I haven't had an extra 100 or so dollars lying around to buy the damned thing, but payday is Monday. Yay day).
-Wed: Again class from 11-230, including an in class, graded writing assignment about the themes found within Little Red Riding Hood that I have to prepare and outline and notes for, still. And then dinner with Evan and JT and Sarah that we all had to plan to do two weeks ago in order for everyone's schedules to match.
-Thursday: Holy shit I don't have to do anything on Thursday. This, of course, means that I will be doing any home work that I need caught up on, as well as researching and booking my tickets for Spring Break (that is, if Evan doesn't talk me into doing in earlier), as, since JT and Sarah decided they're not coming, we said that we would book everything after getting paid this week. This will also end up being an errands day, since I have to buy groceries like whoa.
- Friday: Class from 11-1, and then work from 3-? Just enough time to come home, scarf down a sammich and change in between there.

And somehow, between all of that, I have to fit in time for homework, going to the gym (yeah, right, I haven't had time to do that since classes started) and work on some writing. Oh, and sleep. Can't forget that. I forgot to sleep this week and almost died. Ugh.

Just typing all that out made me tired. This sucks.

EDIT: I DO have something to do on Thurs. It's my grammas bday and I have to eat dinner with the fams and get her at least a card. DO NOT FORGET JENNA! NO FORGETTING! Uuuuugh.

Went out last night to the 'Lube with Evan and people from work. One of my coworkers' wife is about to have a baby any second, so the seemingly smartest thing to do is for him to get blasted and for us to toast the possibility of getting the phone call at that moment, or when he's hungover the next day. Drank....quite a bit. Really was like, one drink away from dancing on the bar, as I danced with pretty much everyone else, haha.

As it is, I woke up still drunk and then checked my phone as I am a notorious drunk dialer...and I drunk dialed Harry. Fuck. I texted him saying to disregard anything I might have said on a message, but now I'm afraid he hates me. Fuck. I have been mortified (on top of my hangover) for the entirety of the day. Ugh. He doesn't seem like the type of person who would find that amusing. I have no idea what to do now. Ugh.

I like that I opened my fridge and there was a Denny's turkey club in it that I don't remember in the least. It's like drunken magic.

Evan and I have decided to go to London/other places in Europe for spring break. I am excited. I now have to be cheap, though, so as to save enough money by March to go, but still. YAY! I am so excited.

Ugh. I suppose I should do my homework that I put off all evening. Damn sadistic professors, assigning homework the first week of class. Evil.